Surro Files - When Things Go Wrong

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Well this week started off great.  We spent the first half of the week at Disneyland.  It was my girls' end of school year trip.  We were all so excited.  The girls rode rides that they had never even come close to riding before.  They rode Splash Mountain, Star Tours, Indiana Jones, and Tower Of Terror!  I can't believe my girls are growing up so fast.  The first two rides were a hit, but the second two were still a bit too scary.  Even more amazing was that I rode the rides as well.  Having little kids means no big rides for me, so it's been quite a few years since I've been on anything scarier than It's A Small World.  I kept telling myself that I better get my rides in because the transfer was a week away and after that there's no more big rides for me for quite awhile... or so I thought.

Wednesday we headed home.  My sister and cousin headed up with us too so they could visit for a few days.  It was my cousin's first time to California so we were trying to show him the sites.  We opted for a trip to Yosemite on Thursday.  Before we headed out I had my monitoring appointment though so we all drove over and they walked around the hospital grounds while they waited for me.  I was a bit nervous for the appointment since my lining only went up about 2mm the week before, but the clinic changed my medication so I was hoping for big numbers this week.  Nothing prepared me for the number the ultrasound nurse gave me though.  Not only did my lining not jump up like I had wanted it, but it had plummeted to 2mm!!!!  How was that even possible???  I started out at 3.6, went up to 5.4, and then went down to a 2!  My heart sank instantly as I knew this was very bad news.  I just don't know what happened.  I took all my medications like clockwork.  I didn't bleed or spot at all during my cycle.  It just took me completely by surprise.  I was in denial, a bit stressed, and a bit depressed.  What was I going to tell Belle and Adam?  I promised I would e-mail ASAP after the appointment.  Well, I e-mailed and let me tell you, it was probably the worst e-mail I've ever sent.  Belle was supposed to be flying out the next day for the transfer and I was all set to fly out a few days after that.  I guess you can't plan anything when it comes to surrogacy.  I know that now.  Silly me for thinking this would be easy.  Belle and I tried to keep our hopes up that the transfer could be saved, but later that day I got the message of doom as the clinic confirmed that the transfer indeed was cancelled.  Boo!

I was down in the dumps for the rest of the day, but Belle as usual beams positive vibes and assured me that all would be ok and what happens is meant to be.  A few tweaks to the cycle and we can fix what went wrong this time.  This is one of the pluses of having a couple that has been through this all before.  Belle and Adam have been through 5 rounds of IVF themselves and know that it's no easy task.  If it were then we wouldn't be here today.  We will get past this!  We will transfer!  We will get pregnant!  And they will get their baby!

So what's up next?  Well the clinic told me that I could discontinue my Lupron injections, but I do need to continue my Estradial pills (by mouth now instead of vaginally).  In addition to the Estradial, I also need to start taking Endometrian (HUGE pill vaginally).  They want to build up my lining so I have something to shed when I get my period.  I'll take these medications till Thursday.  After that I should get my period.  At that point I'll give the clinic a call to discuss my next cycle.  I'm not sure when we plan to transfer, but I do know that they want to try a natural cycle.  I'm not sure exactly what that means, but from what I've heard, it's basically a cycle without (or with minimal) medications.  My body will just do it's own thing.  I'll know more in a week though.  I might even postpone my next update till Tuesday so I can let you all know what's going on.

On a more positive note... The egg donor is looking great and the eggs will be retrieved on TODAY in order to make embryos.  Yay!  That is exciting news!  At least something is going right.  Let's hope we get back on track on my side soon.  FX FX FX!!!!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey

Surro Files - We're At Disneyland!

Today starts week two of the possible surrogate pregnancy.  It's been a pretty smooth and uneventful surrogacy week but a busy week for the family.  First off, last Thursday I had another monitoring appointment at the local fertility clinic.  First up was the ultrasound.  They checked my lining to make sure it is thickening up nicely and checked my ovaries to make sure they are staying dormant.  Everything looked pretty good.  My ovaries are staying dormant just like they should (thanks to the Lupron injections) and my lining is 5.4 (up from 3.6 last week).   Next up was my blood tests.  The blood tests are to monitor my hormone levels.  All looked pretty good but the clinic did want to see my estradiol levels a little bit higher.  To do that I'm now taking my Estradiol pills vaginally instead of orally.  I guess the hormones get absorbed better that way.  Fingers crossed it does the trick.  I've been doing it this way a couple days now and I will say, if you ever have to do this, make sure you're prepared with a panty liner.  I ended up having a freaky blue discharge (so sorry if that was too much information.  At least I didn't post a picture).   It's so crazy to work through this process.  IVF really is an artwork of medications increased, decreased, and changed up to create just the perfect environment.  I've really come to appreciate just how complicated and delicate a process it is. 

So that was late last week.  Where am I now?  Disneyland of course!!!!  The girls are out of school and we're celebrating.  We kicked off the weekend visiting my family who live in Southern California.  Then we headed over to Disneyland.   We're here till Wednesday and we're having a blast.  The girls even went on a few new rides (Indiana Jones, Splash Mountain, and the Toon Town Roller Coaster).  My girls are getting so big!  Linc's favorite is still, It's A Small World.  Today we're doing the California Adventure park.  We'll see if Reagan really goes on Tower of Terror like she says she's going to.  That ride freaks me out!  Yes, I'm a wuss.  We even got some Geocaching in on our trip (yes, we're still obsessed).

So what's coming up next?  Well we get home from Disneyland on Wednesday.  Hopefully I hear about a firm transfer date before then (they don't book these things till about 5-7 days out).   I have my next monitoring appointment on Thursday.  Fingers crossed that everything looks perfect.  Friday I have an appointment with the life insurance company (hopefully I don't need it during this process).   Also happening this week; my sister and my cousin's son are coming to visit.  We're thinking of heading over to San Francisco and Yosemite.  This is his first time to California so we're trying to show him the sites.  Then in another week we should be heading back to Connecticut for the transfer. Eeeeeeek!  I'm so excited!  The intended mother, Belle, and I have been trying to get it all planned out.  We email almost everyday.  We just can't believe the day is almost here!!!

Ok, with that I'm going to leave you with a few vacation photos.  Hope they show up ok.  I'm on my phone.  I'll update again soon!!!!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey

Surro Files - Day 1 of Pregnancy ... Maybe!!!

Today is a big day!  It could very well be Day 1 of the surrogacy pregnancy if the stars align and everything works out.  What do I mean by that?  Well the following would need to happen...

• The eggs would need to be retrieved from the egg donor on Monday, June 17th (this is based on the fact that the date of conception it is actually marked as 2 weeks pregnant instead of Day 1 of the pregnancy) and fertilized with the sperm donor's sperm.
• My body would need to be ready for a transfer around 3-5 days after the eggs are retrieved and fertilized (this is why the monitoring clinic is checking up on me each week with ultrasounds and blood tests).
• We would need to see that most amazing word on a pregnancy test; "PREGNANT!"

 If the the stars do align and we do get a BFP (big fat positive) on a pregnancy test, then we would be due March 10th, 2014.  Do you know what that means????  Belle and Adams baby would be due to arrive on their 5th wedding anniversary!!!!  How awesome is that!?!?!  It's like it was meant to be!

The other option is that doctors calculate the due date based on the date of my last period which was last Tuesday, May 28th, 2013 (not sure why they would since we know the exact date of conception).  That would put us due on March 4th, 2014.  So what day will it be?  When will this baby be due???  I'm already talking as if I know we will get pregnant, but why wouldn't I?  I'm thinking positive thoughts and sending positive vibes.  I just know this will work.  We will get that BFP!!!

So what's been happening this past week?  Well as I said above, I started my period last Tuesday.  Wednesday morning I went in for my baseline monitoring appointment at the monitoring clinic by my house.  They basically did an internal ultrasound to see if my uterus and ovaries looked the way they should at the beginning of my cycle.  They were looking for a nice thin lining (mine was 3.6), and making sure my ovaries were staying dormant as they should.  Well everything looked perfect!  My body is doing what it should and responding to the medications as expected.  I also did blood work to monitor all my hormone levels.  Those results looked perfect also.  With that news I was given the ok to start my Estradiol 2mg pills two times a day and reduce my Lupron injections to 5 units instead of the 10 units I was doing before.  Yay!  It was like passing another milestone in the surrogacy getting even closer to transfer day.

Speaking of Lupron injections.  I've hit a roadblock with those.  I was fine giving myself the injections for the first 2 weeks, but now I've suddenly run into a fear of injecting myself.  Where before it only took me a "1, 2, 3" to inject myself.  I now find myself going, "1,2,3...1,2,3,4,5...1,2,3...", and that goes on for awhile as I keep starting and stopping my countdown.  Eventually I end up giving the shot, but it's not without quite a bit of hesitation and a little bit of sweating.  I don't know why this is.  The shots don't even hurt.  I'm serious!  I can't even feel them going in most of the time.  It's just looking at the needle that freaks me out.  Why now?  Why not in the beginning?  I'm not sure the answer but I hope this fear goes away again.  It really eats into my morning staring at my leg and a needle for 15 minutes.

So what's coming up?  Well my next monitoring appointment is on Thursday.  They'll be looking to see that my lining is building up and my hormones are at the levels they should be.  The day after that is the last day of school for my girls and we head out to Disneyland!!!!  They are so excited and I love to see them happy.  Linc should even get excited this time around.  Not only that, but this trip will really make the days fly and we'll be in Connecticut for the transfer before you know it!  Eeeeeeeeek!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey

Surro Files - Memorial Day Weekend

The kids and grandma playing in the sand and water at Shaver Lake, CA.

Happy Memorial Day!!!! I hope you all had a great holiday weekend. We had an awesome weekend! Our whole family and my Inlaws all went camping at the Edison Campgrounds in Shaver Lake, California. This is Brian and I's favorite place to camp. The pine trees, the lake, the fire pits; It all says camping to us. I won't lie though. The trip wasn't all toasty hotdogs and s'mores. Linc didn't sleep well which means I didn't sleep well and the propane for the heater ran out in the middle of the night leaving us all ice cubes in our beds. Burrrrrrrrrrrr! Other than that it was great though. We roasted s'mores, played at the lake, went Geocaching (see my post on Geocaching if you don't already know about my latest obsession), and hiked on the nature trails. Can't wait for our next camping trip in July at Pismo Beach, California, and back at Shaver in September. Yay!!!!!

Geocaching in Shaver Lake, CA

Ok, I know you're not checking in to hear about my camping trip though. I'm sure you want to know about how the surrogacy is going. Well I'll tell you, it's flying by!!!!! This past week I took my last birth control pill and continued on with the Lupron injections. Most of the time the injections have gone great, but I've had a few bad days. Sometimes I hit a vein and bleed. Darn veins getting in the way! It's not bad though. A little pressure stops the bleeding and it doesn't hurt. I did have one day it did hurt though. Not sure what happened. I also tried my stomach one day. That didn't go so well. I went in to puncture and the needle bounced off my belly and I started to bleed. Freaked me out. Not sure what went wrong, but I haven't tried it again. I think I'll just stick with the legs.

So what's to come? I have a monitoring appointment on Wednesday (ultrasound and bloodwork) to check how my body is doing. If all looks well then I'll start Estradiol on Thursday. The'll keep monitoring me each week, and if all looks well for the egg donor and I then we will be flying to Connecticut for the transfer the week of June 17th. So soon!!!! Belle and I are still talking everyday as the big day nears. Both of our schedules are pretty packed till then, but no amount of busyness could cover up the excitement. We'll be there soon Belle and Adam! I hope I don't let you down.

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey

Surro Files - Ready, Set, Go!

My Surrogacy Medication Kit

I count this week as officially the start of our first (and hopefully only *fingers crossed*) IVF cycle.  Yes, I already started on birth control pills for this cycle two weeks ago, but this was the big week where I got my big box of medications.  Ok, the box really wasn't that big compared to others I've seen, but there were a lot of medications in it.  Included in my box was Lupron (injections), Estradiol (pills), Endometrim (vaginal suppositories), needles, alcohol wipes, a sharps container, and a CD to show me how to do it all.  Phew!  I can totally do this!  I was so excited when FedEx dropped off my box.  I couldn't believe it was finally here.  Seems weird to be so excited about taking medications and sticking myself with needles, but this symbolized the beginning.  First is meds, then the transfer, then pregnancy, then a baby for Belle & Adam.  Eeeeek!  It's just too emotional to put into words, but I trust that you know what I mean.

My Lupron Injections

Yesterday was my first day of Lupron.  Lupron is an injectable that basically shuts down the female hormone system thus suppressing the ovaries from releasing any eggs.  I don't want those little guys getting in the way and messing up everything we're working toward.  So yesterday was the beginning. I took a nice long shower, got dressed, did my makeup, and fixed my hair.  Then I set up my sharps container, needle, alcohol wipes, and Lupron on a table in my room next to a chair.  After that I set up my video camera.  Ok, why the camera?  So I can talk to you all of course.  Haha!  The truth is that I was a bit nervous and I needed your help.  I figured if I was on video talking to you all then I couldn't take an hour (or more) to take the plunge, and I hopefully wouldn't cry.  Well, it worked!  I stabbed myself quite quickly and most importantly I didn't cry.  I did however bleed a bit.  I think I either didn't stick myself at the right angle, or I was shaking too much while I pushed down the plunger.  I'll have to work on that next time.  About that video though... Well I looked at it after and I totally cut my head off.  I think I was so nervous I forgot to do a test run.  Anyways, I'm still not sure if I'm going to post it on here ... I guess you'll know when you read this.

I'm not sure how long I need to take the Lupron for.  I guess they'll tell me when I need to stop, but till then I'll give myself a shot once a day and think of that happy day when I get to watch Belle and Adam hold their baby for the first time.  Oh what a happy day that will be!

**UPDATE** - As a quick add to this post before it goes live... I found out that the reason I bled was because I hit a vein or artery when I poked my leg.  I should have pulled up on the plunger a little after I stuck myself.  If blood came up then I should have taken the needle out, gotten a new needle and started all over again in a new spot.  If no blood came up then I could proceed.  Good to know!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey

Geocaching - My New Found Obsession

Ok, as I promised in my last post on Monday, I'm going to let you in on my new found obsession - Geocaching.  I first heard the term Geocaching on my virtual friend Mandy's blog, A Baby to Share.  She's also a surrogate who's decided to blog about her whole journey and I love reading her posts with all her wit and humor.  It was last month when she was blogging about her potential IP's match meeting in L.A. that she mentioned caching.  I wasn't familiar with the term, but was instantly intrigued and had to know what this "caching" was.  That's when she sent me the link and unleashed my newest obsession... which I'm sure after reading this post will be your newest obsession as well.  Hehe!

Our first geocache find

Geocaching is basically a free real-world outdoor treasure hunt.  Players try to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, using a smartphone or GPS.  The players can then share their experiences online for other players to see.  Currently there are 2,075,092 active geocaches and over 5 million geocachers worldwide.  Players are the ones that hide the caches, manage the caches, and find the caches.  Caches vary in size, shape, and contents.  Some caches are super small like a medicine pill bottle.  Other caches are very large like a 5 gallon paint bucket.  By this point I think I may be losing you though, so let me just tell you how our whole Geocaching experience got started.

As soon as Mandy gave me the link to the Geocaching website, I read all their rules and created an account.  I searched for geocaches close by my home and there were tons!  The kids, Brian, and I ended up taking a morning walk to the nearby neighborhood that had the two geocache locations I had chosen.  I picked them because they were close and they had been found within the last week so I figured they were still there.  Using the Geocache free starter app on my iPhone I followed the tracking system to the designated location.  Tracking only gets you so far though so after that we had to just rely on the provided description and clues to find the cache.  Unfortunately we weren't successful.  We searched and searched but couldn't find anything.  I think this killed my husband's and the kid's spirit a bit and we headed home.  I wasn't about to give up though.  Riley was still on my side and we headed out to a local park to find another.  Success!!!!  Luckily this was a pretty easy one that we were sure to find.  It was a camouflaged pill bottle with nothing more than a log and a pencil inside.  We signed the date and our team name to the log, and replaced the cache right where we found it in a bush.  Riley was so excited she wanted to find another right away!  We didn't have luck on the second one, but we did run home and log our find on the website.  Whoo Hoo!!!  We were just getting started.

Then Brian and I headed out to Oahu and I brought my new obsession with me.  There were so many geocaches showing up on the map in Oahu, but I limited my searching to a few so I wouldn't drive Brian crazy.  We found most of them at the Lost TV show filming locations and in the woods by our hotel.  With each find I was more and more hooked.  In total I found 7 caches in Oahu and I can't wait to find more now that we're home, and on all our future vacations.

Some of the many finds I had on Oahu.  The rat has the cache container hidden inside of it.  The bug is a trackable that I took back home to drop in another cache.  The canteen is just another form a cache can take.

So why do I love Geocaching so much?  Let me count the ways...

My first find on Oahu

1. It's FREE!!!  Ok, I did pay $10 to get the Official Smart-Phone Application so that searching would be easier, but it's not necessary.  They also sell some extras on their site, but totally not necessary to join in the fun.
2. It gets our whole family out of the house.  These days all my girls and even Linc want to do is watch TV and play on the iPad.  Geocaching gets them outside.  It's also a family activity so Brian and I are also outside spending time with our kids.
3. It helps the kids learn about maps, reading a compass, and distance.  Ok, it helps me too.  Hehe! I admit I'm map challenged at times.
4. It helps the kids learn about the world.  This week I'll be purchasing trackables for the girls.  It's a little token that we can leave in a cache that another geotracker can pick up and take with them.  They then leave the tracker in another geocache noting the location they leave it on the website.  The girls can then track all the places their tracker goes.  Over time it can travel all over the world!  Players will also often take pictures with the tracker or of the surroundings that the tracker is left in.  This is a way for the girls to see the world as their little tracker travels.  I think Riley is going to get one that looks like a unicorn and Reagan wants a seahorse.
5. It's a treasure hunting game!!!  Who doesn't love treasure hunting?  

Our most recent Geocaching adventure

Just thought I'd throw in the pictures above last minute.  This was our most recent Geocaching adventure yesterday.  It just goes to show you can find time to search for caches morning, noon, or night.  I picked up Riley from school and the first thing she asks is, "Can we go find treasure?"  Of course!  There just happened to be a cache nearby that I wanted to go check out.  This cache is about 10 years old!!!!  It was so awesome to read the log inside of it and see all these names from 2003 way before Riley was even born!  She was so psyched too because there were little trinkets in it to trade.  She ended up trading a Minnie Mouse hair tie for a little dragonfly.  Later that day we went to Reagan's swim classes.  Of course Riley asked while we were there, "Can we go find treasure???"  You don't have to ask me twice.  I found one on the site that was only 400 feet away, just behind the swim school on a bike trail.  We went walking and found the little yellow tube tied up to a tree.  Easy find!  Then later that night after dinner Riley and Reagan both asked if we could go find treasure again.  Sure enough there was a cache just over 400 feet away.  This time it was a family affair including the in-laws.  My father-inlaw ended up finding this one.  It was his first find!  So that was our crazy busy day of Geocaching.  You can do it anywhere!

So there you have it!  That's my new found obsession.  We've only just gotten started, but we can't wait to find more.  We've got a few trips planned to Shaver Lake, Disneyland, Conneticut, and Pismo Beach, and you can bet we'll be searching for more caches while we're there.

To find out more information visit the Geocaching website.  Don't forget to add our team as a friend while you're at it.  We're the "3Amigos+2".